Adoption Stories from Adopted the Movie - A Feature Film by Barb Lee

December 19, 2007

Woman Arrested for Killing Infant

Filed under: Adjustment Issues,Adoption,Articles,For Parents,Korean Adoption — Tags: , — Catherine @ 10:53 am

From the Korea Times:

An American woman has been arrested in the United States on charges
of killing a baby she adopted.

Rebecca Kyrie, 28, was indicted with physical detention on Friday for
murdering Chung Hei-min, a 13-month-old girl adopted from Korea about
six months ago by the accused and her spouse David, according to The
Indianapolis Star, a local daily published in Indianapolis in the
U.S. on Sunday.

The arrest came after a three-month-long investigation by the
Hamilton County Sheriff Department.

Chung was adopted by the Kyries in June through Bethany Christian
Services and was called Chaeli by her adoptive parents.

Bethany Christian Services is a not-for-profit adoption service
provider with offices in 30 states in the U.S.

Police said that Kyrie shook the baby girl so violently on Sept. 3
that it resulted in head trauma, resulting in her death the next day.
Her husband, David, was at work at the time, and her two biological
sons were with her.

Kyrie still denies the charges. Reportedly, however, her six-year-old
son has told an investigator that his mother told him not to say what
happened to the girl.

Kyrie was known among her neighbors for being a regular churchgoer
who even performed dance interpretations of Bible stories at the

“Kyrie offered no explanation for her baby condition when she called
911 on Sept. 3 and reported the child was frothing at the mouth,”
the daily quoted Maj. Mark Bowen, spokesman for the Sheriff
Department as saying. Later, however, she referred to personal
problems, according to evidence filed in court.

After the baby was taken to a hospital in Indianapolis, she was
diagnosed with a severe brain injury and placed on life support. But
Chung died after she was removed from life support equipment the next
day. The recently obtained results of an autopsy show that she died
from the so-called “shaken baby syndrome.”

The daily reported that she had not admitted to shaking the baby, and
her husband also claimed no knowledge of any prior abuse.

In an interview with Indianapolis-based TV news, 6News, her brother,
George Cooper said Kyrie, an extremely loving and caring mother,
would not have abused the child.
“There’s every possibility in my mind that this was a pre-existing
condition and that just took time to bear itself out,” he said.

The original article is here:

December 13, 2007

Follow Up on Jade’s Story

Filed under: Adoption,Korean Adoption,Site News — Tags: , — Catherine @ 6:44 pm

We have posted a follow up to our previous post about Jade, the 7-year-old Korean adoptee who was given up by her adoptive Dutch parents.

Read the post and the follow up articles here: Couple gives up girl, 7, adopted in Korea as a baby.

December 11, 2007

Couple gives up girl, 7, adopted in Korea as a baby

Filed under: Adoption,Korean Adoption — Tags: , , , — Catherine @ 12:23 pm

From JoongAng Daily:

HONG KONG ― A high-ranking Dutch diplomat and his wife, who adopted a 4-month-old Korean girl in 2000 when he was posted in Korea, gave up the child last year, officials here said.

Now, officials here are looking for someone to take care of the school-age child.

The girl, Jade, is still a Korean citizen because the adoptive parents, whose names were not released, never applied to give her Dutch citizenship, according to an official at the Hong Kong Social Welfare Department.

She doesn’t speak any Korean. She speaks only English and Cantonese, according to people close to her.
And she doesn’t have Hong Kong residency status, either.

The Hong Kong Social Welfare Department, where the Dutch diplomat left Jade in September last year, has had responsibility for her ever since, the official said.

Full article is here:

FOLLOW-UP on Dec 13, 2007 at 6:30 PM:

From South China Morning Post:

Netherlands backs diplomat in adoption row

A Dutch diplomat who gave up to Hong Kong welfare staff the daughter
he and his wife adopted seven years ago in South Korea has received
the support of the Dutch consulate-general and the country’s
department of foreign affairs amid outrage in the city and the

The Sunday Morning Post (SEHK: 0583, announcements, news) this week
revealed that the diplomat, Raymond Poeteray, and his wife, Meta, had
given up to the Social Welfare Department the child they adopted when
she was four months old.

Yesterday a source at the Dutch consulate said they were standing
behind him. “Our ministry of foreign affairs says nothing illegal
happened. It is a private matter but as a good employer we will assist
in this matter in the interests in the child.”

Mr Poeteray “feels he should not go into the open”, the source said.

Social commentators and adoption experts have demanded Mr Poeteray
explain his actions.

Yesterday he declined to explain why the couple gave up the child.

“I have nothing to add from what I said on Saturday,” he said.

Mr Poeteray told the Sunday Morning Post the decision to give up the
child had caused a “terrible trauma” in his family, and added: “I
don’t have anything to say to the public. It is something we have to
live with.”

The department has told members of the Korean community in Hong Kong
that the Poeteray family – who have two biological children – have not
been in touch with the child they abandoned.

Margaret Chang, president of the Korean Women’s Association, said news
of the case had triggered a flood of inquiries from families
interested in adopting the child.

“Our concern now is for the welfare of the little girl. She is not a
Hong Kong resident and she only speaks Cantonese and English,” she

Mr Poeteray will return to the Netherlands today, where, the source
said, he would be required to explain his actions to the government.

Hilbrand Westra, chairman of Adoption United International and one of
4,200 Korean adoptees in the Netherlands, said the ministry and consul
could not continue to defend Mr Poeteray.”The ministry has said this
has nothing do with his function. But that cannot be,” Mr Westra said.

He said there was considerable concern the couple had not naturalised
the girl as a Dutch citizen, which was against the law.

The Sunday Morning Post made an editorial decision not to publish the
names or pictures of the family to protect the child, who is in foster
care. But the story has since received extensive coverage by other
media outlets, which named the couple.

From The Guardian:

After seven years, Dutch diplomat puts adopted daughter back up for adoption

A Dutch couple living in Hong Kong yesterday found themselves at the
centre of an international controversy after they gave up their
daughter for adoption seven years after they adopted her themselves.

Raymond Poeteray, 55, who has worked as a Dutch diplomat for more than
20 years, and his wife, Meta, adopted Jade, an ethnic Korean girl,
when she was four months old.

Poeteray told the South China Morning Post that the adoption had gone
wrong. He said that his family was “trying hard to deal with it”.

He added that his wife was receiving counselling following the
decision to give up Jade. “It’s just a very terrible trauma that
everyone’s experiencing,” he told the newspaper.

Full article:,,2226521,00.html

From De Telegraaf:

Former baby sittter: Jade got less attention

By Bart Olmer

AMSTERDAM – “There was my sweet Jade for whom I baby sitted two years long
and with whom I played -… My heart broke when I read yesterday’s

These are the words of the Dutch former babysitter of Jade. ‘I’d love to
adopt this child myself and give her a good home!”

She stutters, overtaken by emotions and is looking for the right words. Her
use of language makes clear she lived for many years in Asia and Latin
America, as daughter of a Dutch couple that for their work travelled the
world. That’s how she got to know Raymond Poeteray, the Dutch consul in
Hong Kong, of whom the whole of Asia speaks in shame these days.

Less attention.

Yearlong the babysitter, in the meantime settled in The Hague and studying,
lived in Jakarta, nearby Raymond and Meta Poeteray, who were then attached
to the Dutch Embassy in Indonesia. She was a regular guest of the house and
saw from close how the diplomate couple, who already had a 7 year old son,
adopted the four-year old Korean girl. “But since the beginning I felt
something was wrong: they gave her much less attention as their own son. It
got wrong since the beginning.”

The former babysitter knew Jade until her second year. ‘IN the evening I
looked after her. During the day there was an Indonesian woman who looked
after Jade constantly. But Meta treated Jade directly as not her own
daughter. Their son, by the way, was very fond of Jade.”

The Dutch babysitter, who yesterday cried dire tears about Jade’s fate,
remembers her as ‘very sweet, but also very quiet’. There is absolutely no
abuse in the family, she says.

‘I am very angry at the adoptive parents Poeteray. I could hate them for
what they did. I am amazed by their action. You don’t do such thing. When
you adopt a child, you are fully responsible. It is not a dirty sock, which
you throw in a corner. The girls is not a piece of dirth? I would like to
adopt her myself. Make sure she gets a good home. But whom should I call for
that in The Hague?”

The babysitter denies that Jade would have behavioural problems, as is being
said by the Dutch ex-parents. “She was very quiet. But I can of course only
speak for the first two years, not what she became later on. That her
adoptive parents say there are problems with eating is incredible. You
should just work on that. Patience, take your time. Give her a chance. But
the strange thing is, Jade at anything at home, she ate anything. We have
not noticed an eating disorder. The parents Poeteray speak about a
difference in culture, but that’s a lie: the girl was already in their
family at the age of four months. She was shaped by their education!’

The former baby-sit is very worried about the current emotional well being
of the child. ‘I am doing everything to find out where she is now. Jade must
be very confused. She can impossibly understand what is going on. She sleeps
in another bed, with unknown people, at a unknown address. She is being
damaged in a terrible way. My baby-sit child is somewhere all alone, that
hearts me terribly.

Apart from the avelange of furious reaction from the Netherlands and the
whole of Asia, the revenged diplomatic couple gets support of Huub van ‘t
Hek, chief editor of the magazine Perspectief, a magazine about parents and
children in youth care. He has understanding for the diplomatic couple:

“It may sound paradox, but breaking up with your adoptive child can in
exceptional cases be in the interest of the child. If you adopt a child of
four months, you don’t know what you get into your house. I do not know what
happened at the time with this child, or if there is possibly a genetic
problem. .

Most foster cares do more than the average parents. They work very hard for
the well being of their children. Bu ta child can by psychologically so
damaged, so unadapted, so unreachable, that it is not able of any bonding.
Such children remain ‘bodemloos’. In such cases it is not ‘dumping of
children’, but parents are simply broken by the slow poison that is
destroying their family life. In such cases ‘dismantling’ is in everyone’s

Original article (in dutch):

Journey 2008: A Trip to Korea for Overseas Adopted Koreans

Filed under: Adoptees,Adoption,Korean Adoption — Tags: , , , — Catherine @ 11:48 am

This was recently sent out through ICASN:


I am writing to you on behalf of Journey 2008: A Trip to Korea for Overseas Adopted Koreans. Each year JinHeung Moonhwa sponsors this wonderful experience for adult adoptees around the world. For two weeks adoptees are able to visit Korea to learn more about the culture, heritage and people of their birth country. The company covers all expenses for the trip including food, lodging, and transportation with the only expense to the participant being airfare. I would appreciate your efforts in forwarding this to all of your members. I was a participant of this trip in 2001 and it remains one of my most life changing moments. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.

Applications and information ocan be obtained on the following website.

If you are interested in receiving updates from ICASN, visit their site to sign up:

December 10, 2007

ICASN Studies Now Available On The Site!

Filed under: Adoptees,Adoption,Site News,Suggested Reading — Tags: , , , — Catherine @ 6:02 pm

We recently uploaded four short studies published by ICASN, the Inter-Countery Adoptee Support Network ( Adoptees sent their personal views on such topics as adoption by same-sex couples, and post-adoption support services.

Read the studies and find out more about ICASN here: ICASN Articles

Visit ICASN on the web at

December 3, 2007

New York Times’ Relative Choices Blog

If you haven’t heard about it yet, the New York Times has recently started a new blog called “Relative Choices: Adoption and the American Family”, which features pieces by people whose lives have been affected by adoption in various ways. The authors include: Dr. Jane Aronson, founder and medical director of the Worldwide Orphans Foundation, as well as a mother of an internationally adopted child; Hollee McGinnis, policy director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute and a Korean adoptee; Lynn Lauber, a birth mother and author; and Huong Sutliff and Adam Wolfington, who are teenagers and transracial adoptees.

The articles have been as widely varied as the authors. Topics have ranged from adoptive parents’ stories about traveling to meet their children and how adoptive parents react to questions posed by others about their children, to adoptees’ memories of first meeting their adoptive parents and helping the next generation of transracial adoptees.

November 8, 2007

In Their Own Words

Filed under: Adoption,Articles,Korean Adoption,Links — Catherine @ 11:00 am

There is a great article in a recent issue of Mother Jones magazine that gives voice to several Korean adoptees. "In Their Own Words" features Korean adoptees recounting their experiences reuniting with their birth families in Korea. The adoptees address such issues as culture shock, birth names, and the emotional toll of a reunion. Two of the Korean adoptees featured in the article, Susan Soon Keum Cox and Hollee McGinnis, have also shared their personal and professional views on adoption in "Adopted: The New American Family."

Everyone at "Adopted" would love to hear your stories about the search for your birth parents. Feel free to share your experiences in the space below.

October 22, 2007

Documentary on Indian Adoption

Filed under: Adoption — Tags: , , , — Catherine @ 1:08 pm


A group of Indian adoptees is making a documentary on Indian adoption and is looking for people who would be interested in sharing their stories. Specifically, the producers are looking for adoptees who have connected with their biological parents and learned that they were adopted under false pretenses. If you or anyone you know can help, please contact Pushpa at

September 10, 2007

How to Be an Anti-Racist Parent

Filed under: Adjustment Issues,Adoptees,Adoption,Racism,Transracial Adopters — Catherine @ 6:24 pm

Carmen Van Kerckhove, co-founder and president of the anti-racism training company New Demographic, writes for two of our favorite blogs, Racialicious and Anti-Racist Parent. Today, she sent us these five tips for parents. We think it’s a must-read. Be sure to visit Anti-Racist Parent to download the free 11-page e-booklet "How to Be an Anti-Racist Parent: Real-Life Parents Share Real-Life Tips." And, don’t miss today’s post on helping teachers understand adoption.

The following is reprinted with Carmen’s permission:

You don’t use racial slurs. You teach your child to treat everyone equally. You expose your family to diverse cultures. That’s enough to make sure your children don’t grow up to be racists, right?

Not necessarily.

Most people think that racism is all about white hoods, burning crosses, and racial slurs. But racism is also about linking physical and intellectual abilities to racial differences. If you think about racism in this way, the truth is that all of us hold racist beliefs.

Here are 5 tips to keep in mind:

1. Your children will face racism, so prepare them for it.
It’s not unusual for children to hear their peers using racial slurs as early on as the first grade, even in the most diverse and open-minded communities. Don’t assume that racism is a non-issue for your family.

2. Don’t be colorblind.
"Everyone is the same to me. I don’t even see color!" Being colorblind is not possible and it should not be your goal. As NAACP Chairman Julian Bond says, colorblindness means being "blind to the consequences of being the wrong color in America today."

3. Make conversations about racism relaxed and frequent.
Don’t wait for A Very Special Moment to talk about race. Conversations about race should be as normal and casual in your family as discussions about "American Idol." In fact, "American Idol" can be a good starting point to talk about how people of color are portrayed in the media!

4. Lead by example.
Actions speak louder than words. If you tell your children they should accept everyone, regardless of race, but you only socialize with people from one race, what message do you think your child will absorb?

5. Never stop dismantling your own racist beliefs.
You can’t lead by example if you don’t work on yourself. Realize that you’re not going to wake up one morning and be rid of all your racist beliefs. There are no shortcuts to becoming anti-racist. Be aware of your own biases and privileges, and never stop working to overcome them.

August 22, 2007

Daddy and I

Filed under: Adoptees,Adoption,Chinese Adoption — Catherine @ 4:05 pm

Both Harlow’s Monkey and Racialicious have recently posted about Daddy and I, a photo exhibit by O. Zhang. In it, adopted Chinese girls pose with their white adoptive fathers. The series has generated much publicity, mostly centered around the uncomfortable feeling many have gotten looking at the photos. Some of the photos depict the young girls, often in traditional Chinese dress, in vaguely inappropriate positions with their fathers.



Why do these pictures make us so uneasy? If it were white adopted children with their white daughters, would we feel so uncomfortable? Or are these fathers in inappropriate positions with their daughters, regardless of race?

Furthermore, what is the artist’s role in all of this? In his director’s statement, Zhang poses the question "as the girls grow up, will they remain innocent adoptees under the tutelage of their Western patriarchs?" Did he position the fathers and daughters in deliberate situations to symbolize this question?

If art is meant to generate discussion, then this exhibit surely has accomplished its goal.

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